EVAN! the Glowworm

                      Evan signs his name with an exclamation mark.  Like this:  Evan!  

This is how he signed the school’s Code of Conduct contract.  He signs his name on the top of worksheets like this, too.  This demonstrates two things:  An understanding of the intrinsic function of that piece of punctuation; and a sense of self-esteem and self-awareness that is far more developed than most adults I know. 

            Who on earth would deem themselves worthy of a name end-capped by an exclamation mark?  This is on par with those stars who are so big - so famous - that they decide to go by one name: Madonna, Beyonce, Prince…     Is the world ready for Evan! ? 

            This summer we hit a milestone.  As of July 3^rd, Evan has been my son for 1 year.  We have all experienced epic changes in this past year.  Evan has grown and changed in ways I could have only hoped for in those first weeks (when he was still hitting me and spitting at me!)   Sometimes I wonder, how did we all make it?

            Evan has started his second year of school, first grade.  Coming back after the summer was difficult.  We’ve been back to school for three weeks, and Evan still signs to me every morning, “Enough school.  I’m done with it.”  Oh, little does he know! 

             Once he gets to school, he is happy to be there.  He has the same Deaf/HOH teacher, but a different interpreter and home-room teacher.  This was a surprise to him.  I’m sure that whatever version of “school” happened at the orphanage involved the same staff, day in and day out.  (A big shout out to Evan’s interpreter last year, Debbie, who is more like an Auntie to our family, now.  Debbie did phenomenal work with Evan last year and we love her!!) 

            Miss Sandy (interpreter) and Mrs. Davis (home-room) are already enamored with the Evanator, and in awe of his powers.  Mrs. Rogers, Evan’s Deaf/HOH teacher, believes Evan could be President some day.  I am sure that would usher in the end of democracy.

             Evan finishes his Math work faster than everyone else in the room.  He is facing a new academic challenge this year, though: SPELLING.  Evan does not have the use of phonics, so every word must be memorized.  Success, till now, has meant that Evan could look at the word and sign it. He is quite good at this and he is reading a lot of sight words.  However, this skill involves just remembering what that word looks like as a whole.  Now, we are asking him to individually remember the letters, in order.  

            Evan became quite frustrated when I tried to get him to practice the three (out of seven) words he did not know.  He had a major melt-down which went from anger to sobbing.  Thursday, I wrote all 7 words and had him write them in columns three times.  Then I gave him a practice test.  He missed: down, find, and come.    I attempted to have him do more work with those words and he went into a lengthy, volatile tantrum.   I waited for the storm to pass....and waited....and waited.......    


            Then, Evan, sobbing, took a piece of paper and looked at me.  His eyes were so sad it broke my heart.  He started to write some Mandarin characters.  Then, he got frustrated because (I think)  he couldn't remember those clearly, either.   He started to mime and sign about being back in China.  I think he was trying to tell me that the teacher there would write the character and he would just copy across.  He was sobbing now, and not angry, and I held him for a long time.  Evan is so resilient that sometimes even I forget how much change this little guy has endured in one short year.   When we got home, he requested that I take out his Mandarin workbooks and photo album from the orphanage.  He seemed to feel better after he looked through those. 

            After conferring with his teachers, it was decided that Evan should only test on the four words that he had down in order to feel successful with his first spelling test.  He scored a 100!  Now, the work begins for next week.  (I will work on more “fun” ways to practice the spelling.  I have to admit that I didn’t really do a great job with this last week, and as a former Kindergarten teacher, I should do better! )  Sometimes, being a teacher’s kid is like the shoemaker’s children who have holes in their soles. 

            At home, Evan continues to think bedtime is negotiable.  He tried very hard earlier this week to persuade me to allow him to just watch TV until he falls asleep.  I found him on the couch asleep one night when he must have waited for me to fall asleep and then went to the living room. 

            It is not just TV he wants to watch, though.  Evan has been on a crusade for the past month trying to watch “Mommy movies.”  I have a very small selection of movies intended for adults – Rated R, to clarify!    Evan discovered from examining their DVD cases that there are probably scenes not fit for children …scenes where he could see GIRL PARTS.   In the past month, I have found Evan hiding in his room on more than one occasion with his portable DVD player and a Mommy-movie.  After taking his DVD player away a few times, I decided to just take all of my movies and put them into my bedroom.  Both boys know my room is OFF-LIMITS. 

            Well, in Evan’s mind, “No” means “No” just until he can find a way around it.  Two nights ago I woke up at about 1:30 am.  You may remember from previous posts that I sleep between Ben and Evan to save Ben from being antagonized and sleep deprived.   I looked around, and Evan was not there.  However, I noticed right away, that there were toys in the bed.  In my sleep-fog, my first thought was, “Evan must have been playing in bed.”   Then, my brain began to clear….. and the scene in front of me came into focus….

           

            This was not some random selection of toys for my nocturnal son’s entertainment. What I was gazing upon was pure, diabolical, genius.

             Evan had set up an EVAN DECOY in the bed next to me.  He had two Mr. Potato head bodies on the pillow where his head should have been.  This was followed by the Lite Bright box for his torso. The long Sea Scope (like an underwater telescope) took the place of his legs.  A small, toy boat was place horizontally at the base of the scope for his feet. 

            I was stunned.  I had to stifle my laughter so as not to wake Ben.  I walked down the hallway looking for the conspirator.   I was surprised to see the living room was empty.  I went back down the hallway and realized the light was on in my room.  Now, the downfall of being deaf is that Evan cannot hear me coming.  I peered around the corner.  Evan did not notice me right away.  He was too busy rummaging through my movies, looking for something salacious.    Within moments, Evan looked up.  He was like the cat that swallowed the canary….BUSTED.  This resulted in a lengthy time out at about 2 in the morning.  I am also putting a lock on my bedroom door this weekend. 

            These glimpses into my son’s mind both amaze and terrify me.  I have a feeling Evan’s IQ is off the charts.  He is (thankfully!)  not mean or destructive.  Mischievous is the perfect word for him.  Ingrained into his behavior from the days in the orphanage is the idea that adults can be circumnavigated.  I worry that as he gets older, this will lead to bigger problems.  I pray that I can teach him to make good decisions, and that somehow the angels will protect him from himself.   

            I remember reading that Winston Churchill was a legendary mischief-maker and mediocre in school.  K. Smith, a Yahoo! contributor, wrote:

Winston was a man who waited for no one. He made his own rules and made the impossible possible. He gave everything he had into what he believed was right and would not stop until he accomplished what he was aiming for. Through his whole life Winston was always testing the limits and pushing the line. He refused to lose and saw winning as the only option. He once stated, "We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm."

            Maybe I’m biased, but I think Evan is also a “glowworm.”  On one hand, it thrills me to think Evan has the potential to be in the same league with legendary movers and thinkers.   I have felt from the beginning that God must have a special plan for this boy.   At the same time, it makes me want to reach across the barriers of time and give Mrs. Mama Churchill a giant hug.   And a margarita. 

The difference a year makes....  When Evan first arrived from China...showing me how strong he is!

 This summer...I guarantee you cannot see his ribs anymore!