I haven’t
updated our blog in quite a while, and I had to stop and wonder, “Why?” Is this hiatus merely due to the cyclonic pace
of our life this past year? Or, have we
reached a state of normalcy with Evan, now home 3 years, and we are no-longer
blog-worthy?
Evan is now
9 years old. Some days he seems older,
certainly larger. His appearance is
deceiving - he has a wide, thick build, but next to children his age, his
height is not unusual. Our recent move
means that he can now attend a school for the deaf, and he is doing quite well
there.
Does this mean that I am Henry Higgins to
Evan’s Eliza Doolittle? Not by a
long-shot, dear friends.
Equilibrium. A state in which all forces are equal. This can be construed as peaceful state with
no apparent changes. However, in reality, it is a state of
continued pressure from all sides, all competing forces cancelling each other
out.
There are peaceful moments that give us pause
to glance at each other and cautiously comment on the harmony of the
moment. Evan recently even started giving my mother an occasional spontaneous hug. Mostly, I have learned to be
the balance that keeps Evan’s sometimes tornadic
(it’s not a word, but it should be!)
behavior in check:
Evan embraced the fine art of
instigation in his former life. Surely,
this was a very effective method of garnering attention, and he still resorts
to this dark art with frequency.
Evan has a huge personality, and he likes to
‘control the room.’ This doesn’t always
work well within the dynamics of a small family.
Evan
started out with a lot of anger. These
days, we see more smiles, but the fire still burns.
Evan has
more energy than the rest of the family combined.
This is all
part of who Evan is, I do think he would be larger than life no matter what
his history.
Some people
join a family and fit neatly into the vacant space. They fill a gap - maybe one you didn’t know
you had until that person came along. They don’t change the landscape much –
they complement the overall picture.
Others jump
in, cannon-ball style, causing disarray and more than a few annoyances. They change everything. Waves ensue; some water is splashed out,
permanently changing the surroundings.
There are complaints from some, laughter from others, and often moments
of jaw-dropping shock.
Evan is all canon-ball.
But
then…slowly….eventually…the water finds its new level. Activities resume. Even the irritation subsides (mostly). The one who made the big splash also changes;
he becomes part of the community. You
can’t jump in the pool, and not get wet.
Sunday, I
brought home two gold fish from the church bazaar. Evan held his plastic bag and lovingly
caressed the side of it with his cheek.
We poured both fish into a temporary jar until we could go out and get 2
proper bowls.
Evan cut a
paper heart and taped it to the side of the jar. Then,
he took a copy paper print-out I had made with a photo of him and his brother
Ben. Evan neatly cut the small rectangle
out, and taped this to the side of the jar also.
At first, I thought he had made a mistake.
The paper was backwards… I started to correct him, “Turn it
around.”
He didn’t
notice. Evan was busy. His face resting on his hands, nose close to
the glass, the Evanator was lovingly
staring at his new pets that were now swimming slowly past a giant mural of
their two new boys.
